Bloody Elbow
I fell on my elbow the other day. I fell hard enough to get torn up pretty good. I had several small cuts and a couple big ones - there were flaps of skin hanging off my arm, so we weren't sure if I needed stitches or not. The older I get, the less I can handle pain. Wait, that's not true. Let me rephrase that: The older I get, the less I can handle blood...and needles.
So I sat in the ER waiting to see a doctor. I was on what they call the "Fast Track" at the hospital, so it only took a total of 3 hours. Just about the time all the blood on my arm had coagulated, they came in and started digging around in the cuts. They told me I didn't need stitches, but that they would need to cut the flaps of skin off and scrub the wound. I don't like the words "flap," "scrub," or "cut off" when it comes to open lacerations. My stomach got weak and I started having one of those cold sweats again (last time that happened I was trying to give blood at the Red Cross with my wife - she gave blood and I fainted).
They gave me lots of shots. Tetanus and numbing shots - and I think they even gave me some fake shots so the nurse-in-training could practice on a real-live person. Then they cut some skin off and started scrubbing. It didn't hurt - I was numb. But I knew that it would hurt if I wasn't numb...so I pretended that it hurt anyway. The nurse in charge asked the trainee for some Q-tips, but she couldn't seem to tell the difference between a tongue depressor and a gauze pad, so my wife Carol pointed to the Q-tips for her and she handed them to the nurse. They finished by putting a non-stick gauze pad over a half-inch smear of ointment, and wrapping it in an ace bandage. I looked really cool, and I felt even cooler all doped up on synthetic codeine. But I was glad to leave.
Today it was time to change the dressing, so I unwrapped the ace bandage and tried to look under the gauze. It was stuck. Peeling it off was like tearing duct tape off your eyelids. Non-stick my foot.
So now I'm sitting here with my arm unwrapped, letting it breathe. But I'm worried because my dog keeps sniffing my wounds. It looks like I put my arm through a meat grinder and I'm offering her a treat. She keeps rolling over and eyeing my elbow.