Blog

Scott's World Vision

2007-08-22T17:43:59Z

We've compiled some footage from our trip to Lesotho, Africa last November. Here is a video that I like to call "Scott's World Vision." What's your world vision?

Labor Pains Revisited (VIDEO)

2007-08-18T02:38:15Z

Here's a link to a video, the stars of which I am very proud. Click here

Short Blog?

2007-07-25T23:13:03Z

My friend once told me that my blogs were too long - that people wouldn't be interested in reading them if they went on and on. Well, this blog is for him (and them).

RESPONSE TO "Quotes: Christianity and Compassion"

2007-07-20T23:18:16Z

Here is a wonderful comment from Seth about my most recent post called "Quotes: Christianity and Compassion." Seth had some wonderful ideas to share, and helped me to gain some good perspective on my sometimes poor attitude toward the Church. He wrote:

I was just mentally inserting this blog into the pen umbrage of the "meat and potatoes" blog. It is sometimes easy to be hard on the things that I view as dippy: insert Testamints, Bible bags (especially pink and baby blue with lace), Precious Moments, etc here. It is so easy to be critical of the simple, and yet how are these things different from the "faith of a child." Where is our compassion toward those who are, sometimes annoyingly, outspoken about their faith in very "simple" ways, i.e. not "on par" with major theological works (Orthodoxy, Mere Christianity, anything Ravi Zacarius, Dante, etc).

I am convicted that it is too easy for me to critique those things which do not meet my tastes. Why does art or music or literature have to be any more "deep." Did He not say, "let the children come" and have "the faith of a child?" Is it pride that causes us to favor the complex (or otherwise seen as innovative and unique) over the simple (seen as Pop[ular] or mass produced).

Should we base theological value on the amount of ensuing patronage? Are all great artists truly starving artists. Are Great Christians those who suffer the most? Does God value Steve Green over Keith Green? Mega-Church over country chapel? Vice Versa?

Where can we insert compassion into our critique of the church and its actions? Is there some type of scale or standard on which God rates Testamints above or below Love and the Like? Are WWJD bracelets between them? Is "Shout To the Lord" at the very bottom? How did Paul critique the church(es).

On what scale do we measure the truth/beauty/justice of an art or item bearing the Truth of the Lord? Is it the motivation of those who make them? buy them? wear them? Is it the message? The Ability? The chic-unique?

I want to ask these questions because I first want to champion your reaction to the dove awards and estes park events. Then i realize that we all fit into some silly mold. We all peacock around in our own ways. Some favor the more mainstream some the more unique.

If we are to be less critical of those around us, we should include the Church in those "around us." I tend to agree with C.S. Lewis who says that many of these topics should be treated with a "hearty belly laugh" and a realization that we are all "quite silly presently in the eyes of the Lord" -The Four Loves.

The book that presently comes to mind is "the Great Divorce." Each character has its own flaw and their flaws are, surprisingly, all virtues which have been perverted into vices. --Seth

And my response:

Seth-
Thanks so much for your words! I am personally convicted by your thoughts. In my attempts to challenge the Church to love well, I often get too fixated on my complaints about what we aren't doing or how we are missing the mark. I needed your gentle correction to remind me to extend that same compassion to those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ - ESPECIALLY to them!

I have been convicted lately about my attitudes toward the Body of Christ. Sometimes my disappointments turn to cynicism, and I get angry or bitter - hopeless. When I lose hope, I turn to blame instead of grace. And I admit that some of my blogs reflect that hopelessness. I hope I have not added to the cynicism of others. That would be a terrible offense!

I think that, like in Lewis' "Great Divorce" and also highlighted in his "Mere Christianity," any God-given gift, which is inherently good, can be perverted, twisted and used to hurt rather than heal. However, that was not my intent with the latest blog. I simply wanted to represent some viewpoints outside of the Church to help us gain some perspective and possibly learn from our "target audience" how we can better target them. I hope that the views represented by any believer OR non-believer would be taken to heart, knowing that their viewpoint - even when cynical or negative - could hold an element of truth to further renew our minds and draw us closer to God. After all, a God as big as ours can certainly use anyone and anything for his purposes!

Thanks so much for your thoughts, Seth! --Scott

P.S. I also agree with your sentiments about how our search for depth or "valuable" art often comes from pride (or the desire to appear deep) rather than a genuine motivation to search and taste the ultimate mysteries and depth of God. That, too, was a grouding thought for me to chew on.

Quotes: Christianity and Compassion

2007-07-11T17:53:16Z

“Christendom has done away with Christianity without being quite aware of it.” - Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

Question: Why do you think Kierkegaard said this? Was he just attacking the religious? Or did he have a point? How does this relate to compassion?

“If Christians would really live according to the teachings of Christ, as found in the Bible, all of India would be Christian today.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Question: Is it possible that an "unbeliever" could make a point worth pondering? How does this relate to compassion?

“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” - Unknown

Statement: This one kind of rocked me.

“Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.” - Henry Ward Beecher

Question: How can the Church learn from this?

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” - The 14th Dalai Lama

Question from "Meat and Potatoes"

2007-04-29T19:08:01Z

A reader asked me a good question about my last post, titled "Meat and Potatoes." I have chosen to post it here as a separate blog:

Chris writes:

Scott, very thought provoking as much of what you write is... one question, for those of us who are "professional" ministers, how do we begin to introduce "meat" music to our congregations? As the Christian sub-culture has encouraged mimicing secular music, it has also removed us from not only engaging God through good music that works through the mysteries and wonder of Him and His work in the world, but has caused us not to seek him in anything (i.e. listening and thinking on the struggle that a secular artist sings/writes about as he/she searches through the meaning and mysteries of life). I deal with this daily as I long to help our students see and seek God and His movement in the world and in their lives.

My response:

Thanks for your honesty Chris. I struggle with the same thing - even when I lead congregational music its easy to default to the songs I know...the easy songs, the oldies, or even the "popular" songs. Not that any of those are bad in and of themselves - I can just get lazy and not really try to search for truly relevant and meaningful music. Sometimes I don't want to teach a new song because it takes up too much time. And time is precious in a church service. Start at 9:30am sharp and end at 10:30, just in time for the next herd to corral itself into the weekly production.
So for me, it comes down to laziness. I fail to take the time to look for quality (or to produce it), and I settle for comfortable and/or convenient (or I people please and do what I know to be safe). And as a leader, I model that laziness or cowardice to the laypeople who, in turn, become lazy and demand the comfortable and convenient - the easy to digest. It becomes a vicious cycle. Back in the day it happened with the Israelites, many of whom would have gone back to a life of slavery and abuse in Egypt in exchange for their newfound and uncharted freedom, which required effort to maintain. Even then, the leaders did their best to lead by example into the unknown - by faith. Now in the present day, it can get even worse when leaders allow themselves to get lazy or afraid of the unknown. Then it definitely comes across in a community. Its amazing to travel across our country and see how much congregations reflect the attitudes of their leaders.
Chris, my advice would be to remove yourself from any religious tendencies to use only music or writing labeled "Christian." There are many secular artists and authors whose searching and longing for experience with God are completely relevant to a believer who also struggles with doubt and unbelief. Of course, there are a good bit of artists and authors who can lead us astray if we're not careful. The trick is to stay engaged with the Spirit who lives inside you. Listen to your discernment, watch for red flags, pray for strength and wisdom, and watch God reveal himself to you in the art of those who don't necessarily carry the Evangelical Contemporary Christian stamp of approval. God works in many ways that the American church at large cannot seem to accept.
Case in point: As I write this a Disney movie is playing in the living room. Little Simba the future lion king has just been rescued from the hyenas in the elephant graveyard by his father, Mufasa. As his father processed Simba's mistake with him, Simba said "I just wanted to be brave like you, Dad."
And Mufasa replied, "That doesn't mean we should go looking for trouble."
So I was just gently reminded (by a "secular" piece of art) that though I need to be courageous as I lead others into the mysterious unknown, I should check my motives. Am I doing this because I believe I need to be bold in my leadership, or am I just picking a fight to be difficult and argumentative? Thanks Mufasa.
The church needs bold leaders who are willing to push past our pseudo-pious religious boundaries and watch for God's presence outside of popular or traditionally accepted practices. Its time to accept our place as facilitators, not experts, and let God be God.

Meat and Potatoes

2007-04-27T19:28:47Z

First of all, let's get something out in the open: The statements I am about to make reflect my opinions and beliefs. They are by no means completely correct, though I think I make some good points worthy of taking to heart. And in no way am I making statements that apply to every single person or entity or corporation who fits the demographic of the current topic. I am generalizing and speaking mostly about the ones who, unfortunately for the little guy, get the most attention. With that disclaimer, I hope you will read on.
GMA week is an annual event leading up to the Dove Awards where Christian artists, promoters, managers, DJ’s, and everyone else connected to the industry all come together to get themselves noticed. There are booths and exhibitors selling us what we need to become the next big thing, and there are seminars and showcases all over the place. It was just last week, and except for the opportunity to see a few good friends, I am glad it’s over. It seems to me that it is a bit of a meat market. I can also admit to referring to it as “Whorefest” – I apologize for the strong language, but it came to me at a time during GMA week when I was overwhelmed by the masses of artists, all doing what they do in the name of God, trying to outdo one another with their crazy hairstyles and latest rock star couture. It looked like a bunch of peacocks strutting their stuff, showing off their plumage, hoping for a mate (or a record deal or airplay or whatever).
I am not a Christian radio friendly artist. I wish I was, but along with many other independent artists, I gave up the notion of being heard on KLOVE a long time ago. Not to toot my own horn here, but most of my songs require a little more thought than much of the jet-puffed ear candy getting airplay these days. It’s the way I like it, and I promise I’m not bragging...not at all. You see, its not hard to write a song that demands a little mental processing, and its even easier to write a song using the same clichés and Christianese that have polluted the airwaves since radio DJ's dubbed themselves the gatekeepers for what listeners want to hear (again, remember that I am generalizing here...there are a few good writers and performers who have managed to sneak past the Chees-o-meters and have gotten their quality art to the masses...but they are a dying breed). As a result, Christian radio has become the tail that wags the dog, and many introspective, thoughtful, and very talented artists can't get their music heard because the "experts" won't play stuff that people might need to chew on and spend some time digesting. They want to spoon feed the listener because the listener can't be trusted to have the discernment to do it himself. Christian Radio has become fast food for the soul. A quick-and-easy filler with little nutritional value: McJesus Radio. Come to think of it, it actually fits in nicely with the God-marketers who peddle their "Testamints" (for sinners with halitosis) at Christian book mega stores around the country.
But I think its giving the church a bad name. And I’m challenging you not to put up with it anymore. It’s an insult to you, the listener (or consumer). It’s an insult because Christian Radio and Christian Bookstores and even a lot of churches are inadvertently keeping you in a state of perpetual spiritual adolescence. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they are maliciously formulating schemes to keep you from maturing. To be honest, part of the blame lies with you – because you are not standing up for yourself and what you need. You’re not taking the initiative to care for yourself. Many of us have become accustomed to foods that are easy to digest, and now we’re addicted.
I think we all need to be better communicators in the church. Many of you are ready to move beyond milk and get to the meat. Many of you need to move away from the “seeker sensitive” churches that continually dumb down the teaching so it’s friendly to the unchurched. If you’re not careful, you’ll be stuck in the Christianity 101 class forever.
So here’s my challenge to you: challenge yourself. Read something you think you won’t understand. Take time to pick it apart and see what the author is trying to communicate. Read something you think you might not completely agree with. Trust the Spirit of God to help you discern what is truth and what can be left aside. Listen to music that intimidates you. Listen to music you “just don’t get.” Try to get it. Take time to process what the lyrics might mean or where the writer was coming from when he wrote it. And attend a church where you might not totally agree with everything they say. See if God can still use it to speak to you.
Search for God in the unknown, intimidating and uncomfortable. Understand that Christ is unendingly deep, incomprehensibly profound, often paradoxical, and always available when we seek him wholeheartedly. His gospel is simple, but he is mysterious. See if it is possible for truth to exist outside of your personal theology. Challenge God to meet you in his realm, not just in the small box where you’ve placed him.

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

2007-03-07T02:50:39Z

This is for those of you who have contacted me about playing in your area. If you're interested in seeing a show, click the link below and let me know!

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TRUMP CARD.

2007-03-05T17:12:52Z

I read the Bible a little again today. Just a little. But its pretty cool how you really don’t need to look too far to find life in its pages. After all, it is alive, right?

]]> I didn’t have anything specific to read today, so I just flipped around to see if anything caught my eye. I opened to Matthew 12 and read one of many accounts where the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus with questions about the law. They questioned him about his disciples eating some grains as they walked through a wheat field on the Sabbath. I have a confession regarding this. It’s a very serious confession. Please do not condemn me. I’m trying to be vulnerable here. Once upon a Sabbath, I walked to our mailbox and got the mail. Please forgive me.
Dang! If that’s breaking the law, I’m glad I’m not under it. We can and will never live up to the letter of the law. Thanks for Jesus. Thanks for grace.
Anyway, Jesus responded by reminding them of some Old Testament stories where similar things had been done (in those days, they didn’t call it the “Old Testament” though – it was the only text they had). Then he quoted Hosea and said, “If you knew what these words meant – ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice’ – then you would not have condemned these innocents.” (my paraphrase)
I think that’s pretty smart. In a way, he said, “Have mercy on people. People are far more important than the sacrifices you make to keep the law.”
Then Jesus went on to the synagogue and saw a guy with a mangled hand. The man was probably holding a pencil like Bob Dole to make it look more natural. You know how we try to cover up all our blemishes and faults? He was probably doing that. But like Bob Dole’s hand, no one was fooled. I think Bob Dole should have worn one of those big foam #1 hands. It would have given him an edge in the elections because people would have seen that he had spirit…like he was rooting for himself or our nation. I would have voted for him then.
Moving on. The Pharisees were still at it. They wanted Jesus gone or dead. So they kept trying to find ways to accuse him. They asked Jesus if it was cool to heal on the Sabbath and Jesus totally slam dunked over them. “Boo-yah!” he said.
Actually, he said, “If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, wouldn’t you pull him out of there? This guy is way more important than a sheep. You ask, ‘Is it okay to heal on the Sabbath?’ Well, here’s my answer: Its okay to do good on the Sabbath.” Then he told the man to stretch out his hand, and the man immediately dropped his pencil and started to play the banjo.
Boo yah! The Pharisees hated that, so they went to make plans to kill Jesus.
What the…?! Why would they do that? Because Jesus never failed to make them look like idiots, and that made them angry. It tore through their shiny exterior and exposed the rust and rot beneath.
Here's the truth I’m holding on to today: Forget the checklist of things to do in order to look pious and righteous. Just do good. When our enemy tries to deal you a dirty hand, love is always the trump card.
Republican? Democrat? Liberal? Conservative? Pro-choice? Pro-life? Gay marriage? Heterosexual marriage? Christian? Non Christian? Muslim? These are not the flags we are meant to wave. Our banner is love. The rest falls into line when we get that right.

CHATTER.

2007-03-03T16:51:05Z

I don’t pray much unless I’m in a heap of trouble. Of course, I have a million excuses why I’ve not spent the energy to develop the discipline. But of them all, I think the main reason is that I feel somehow obligated. I don’t like that pressure, so I avoid it. When I pray, I usually try to get all somber and serious and use a lot of Christianese words – especially when others are listening. I love the feeling I get after a well rehearsed prayer goes off publicly without a hitch. Makes me feel like a better person.

]]> But I don’t think God is impressed. In fact, I was reading my Bible this morning for the first time in several months (that’s another story in itself – judge not), and I opened up to Jesus words about prayer. He said that when we pray, we shouldn’t get all wordy and feel obligated to pray for a long time. He said only religious frauds do that. In fact, he said we should just keep it simple. Like this:
Daddy in heaven, you’re pretty great.
Please help this world today to run the way you’d choose. Help it be a little more like your world.
Give me what I need today, and keep me safe and out of trouble.
Help me treat people like you would treat me.
Because its your world, and only you have what it takes to change it.
Amen.
Last night I laid in bed and tried to pray. The problem with that is I usually drift off to sleep. But it was different last night. I genuinely wanted to talk to God. So I started to pray in my usual Pavlovian way: “Dearest Heavenly Father, I pray that you would bestow your bountiful blessings on me this day - that thou wouldst provide continual inspiration to pen songs and bless those around me with the gifts you have so graciously afforded me…”
Okay, I embellished a little there. My prayers aren’t quite that medieval. Still, I think King James would be quite proud. But as I prayed, I suddenly felt this horrible pressure to change my tone to that of a sad puppy. Like I was going to show God how meek and pious I was, with a hint of reverence, from the posture of a victim. I was conscious of it, so I stopped praying, and, conversely, simply waited for what God might want to say to me instead. Something within me brought to light this question: Do you talk to your real dad like that? Is that language you would use to address a friend?
That’s all I needed to hear. I changed my tone immediately. The pressure was off. I said, “God, I’m a little depressed that I haven’t been writing much lately. Actually, I’m a lot depressed. Will you please help me? I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been so distant lately. I’ve been ignoring you. I’ve pushed away from good teachers. Sorry for that. Can you help me with that attitude? Can you help me want to talk to you? I hope so. I don’t like where I’ve been.”
And here I am today with something to write about. That’s the cool thing about God. Our little efforts to get close to him pay off. And the experience ends up being one we want to tell others about.

VOCAB LESSON

2007-03-02T16:35:49Z

My wife has a super high I.Q. So high, in fact, that she won't tell me or anyone else what the number is. So humble. So I'm always happy when I feel like I am smarter than her on a given topic. Like today, for example...

]]> After a short break from work this morning, I was getting ready to return to my basement office, so I told my wife, "Well, I'm headed back to my lair."
"Lair? What's that?," She asked.
"You've never heard of a dragon's lair?"
"Yes, I've heard of a dragon slayer."
"No, a dragon's lair. Its the place where a dragon hangs out. Kinda dark and cave-like. Like my office."
"Oh, whatever."
Yeah, whatever. I just schooled you, wife. Like a teacher. Of course, I didn't actually say that last line. I just thought it.
I don't particularly pride myself on having a large vocabulary. There are people I know who are hard to talk to without having a dictionary or thesaurus handy. They use big words that I've never heard. Sometimes I wonder if they just make words up because they can't find the appropriate word quickly enough. Oh, the folly of pride.
Oooh. Folly. Good word.
Anyway, I just thought our exchange was a funny one, so I thought I'd share it. I love you, Carol!

OUT of AFRICA

2006-11-15T04:39:00Z

Having just arrived home from a tough trip to Lesotho, Africa with World Vision, I am still jet lagged and trying to get back on schedule. I get tired earlier and am ready for bed around 4:30 in the afternoon, and I wake up much earlier than normal (like 9:00am). It was only a 7 day trip, 2 of which were spent on a plane, so it shouldn't take long to get my body back to Tennessee time.
Most of the trip was very exciting. Some of it was very disappointing. My poor wife fell ill the very minute we arrived on African soil, and was laid up in bed until the very last day when we packed up, checked out and left. She even spent a full day in an African hospital hooked up to an IV to keep her hydrated. We're still not sure what caused the unfortunate nausea. All in all, she endured the doctor's 21-rapid-fire-question consultation, random pills and prescriptions, 5 bags of IV fluid, a couple blood tests, an ultrasound, and a pregnancy test (negative). All for less than $150 US. Next time I decide to get sick, I'm flying to Africa...it'll still be cheaper.
We were very fortunate to get to meet two of the kids we sponsor through World Vision. Actually, I met one without Carol, and we met the second together on the last day, just before we left. It was an exciting and awkward thing. I wanted to run up and hug them and kiss them and tell them how much I love them, but they were both shy and quiet. I know meeting their sponsor is something they very anxiously anticipate, but I tried to put myself in their shoes. Here is some person I've never met before, from a different country, much older than me, speaking a different language, offering me gifts of toys and candy. Kinda weird. So I enjoyed the short time we had together, made sure the translator told them I was very happy to meet them, and we were on our way.
The rest of the trip consisted of meetings with World Vision staff, tours of their facilities, an emotional debriefing with the team at the hotel, and a rushed half hour shopping spree just before we boarded the plane to go home. The passion of the people at work in these development projects gives me a renewed confidence about the money I give to this organization. The employees love their jobs and they are thankful for the opportunity to help. They work with diligence and fervor, knowing that there are people around the world praying for them and counting on them to be the hands and feet of the Body of Christ. I think of sponsors like they are the good samaritan in Jesus' parable, and World Vision is the innkeeper with whom they have entrusted their money.
The statistics I have learned on AIDS and HIV really hit home while I was there. To think that every third person I passed on the street was living with the disease just boggled my mind. We met a man who was a former soccer star, infected and now in the last months of life. His feet were elevated to help manage the pain, and there were lesion scars speckling what skin was exposed. I prayed for him, laying hands on him, wondering why God would let something like this happen in the world He created. I looked into his eyes and saw emptiness and hopelessness. He seemed to look straight through me, past me, his mind a thousand miles away.
Then I turned and looked at the hundreds of kids who had gathered on the hillside to watch us as we sang and prayed with this man and his family. I was thankful that these kids had a chance. They lived in a community where World Vision was active in educating people about the danger of AIDS and HIV. They were being reached. This disease could meet its end in our generation if enough people get on board to help. These kids can have hope. And if we reach them in time, they might not ever have to experience the hopelessness that is destroying this man and many others in Africa.
As I looked into the eyes of these children with that thought still fresh in my mind, I was immediately proud to be a part of the work World Vision is doing. And I realized that God has not forsaken that man or his country. He is using organizations like World Vision to make a difference. To build his kingdom. To do his will on earth as it is in heaven. We are his church, and we are storming the gates of Hell with our prayer, our unity, our resources, our action. I am thankful to be in a position to do something about poverty, hunger, and AIDS. I am blessed so that I can be a blessing to others. God, use me in this fight.

My Baby's Birthday

2006-03-21T22:03:13Z

Well, today is supposed to be the day my son is born. That�s what the doctors said anyway � March 21st. So far, no news. Just a lot on my mind.

]]> Two weeks ago we were in the hospital - my wife was having consistent contractions 3 and a half minutes apart. She had them for 7 hours or so. Still nothing was happening, so the doctor sent us home. Nurses said she was exhibiting all the signs of early labor, and that they expected to see us within 24 hours or so. That was 2 weeks ago.
Try to imagine expecting your firstborn at any moment for two weeks straight. The anticipation mounts and I feel like I'm getting an ulcer while we wait. I haven't felt less productive in a long time. I feel utterly useless. I need to be booking shows, preparing for the coming months, but I can't focus. The waiting is killing me, so I need to stay distracted - but I'm feeling guilty distracting myself because I need to be working. So I try to work, but still no focus. And the cycle continues.
As I wait, there has been a certain amount of shame creeping around, looking for a way in. It whispers to me that I am not cut out to be a musician, self-employed, or making a living for my family. It tells me that I'm lazy and unproductive. It tells me I will make more mistakes than my father. It tells me that God is mad at me. It tells me that I am losing my talent and won't be able to maintain as a writer or singer much longer. Any way it can, it pecks away at the fiber of who I am - at the integrity of the new and perfect heart that God has placed within me. But I am reminded weekly by my community of friends that I am a restored son of the Living God and, though the effects of sin still linger, his strength is best displayed in my weakness - not only in the fact that I am weak, but in my personal confession of weakness. Therein lies the secret of surrender: to acknowledge that I am weak and that I have only to give myself up.
But shame is also strong in my weakness, so what now? The answer depends on which side I choose to surrender to. Will I buy in to the lies that shame and guilt sell? Or will I choose to believe the gospel? I choose to believe Jesus. Will I let my sin or my Savior give me a name? I choose to believe that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. I am not becoming a new creation. I already am.
I am so excited about this baby. I don't feel nervous or scared about being a dad, though I probably should be. Any fears I have are about little Liam's health - and the health of my wife. We want a healthy baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes - I might even settle for 9 toes. As long as he's healthy. Who wouldn't want that? So the excitement and anticipation build. But so does the anxiety.
Oddly enough, and fortunately for us, my wife and I have been extremely united during this time. Typically, high stress times cause extra tension between us. But we've maintained a great sense of togetherness and are drawing much needed strength from one another. It�s been a great blessing. We feel ready as a couple to accept the responsibility of this child, and are excited to do it as a team. God�s timing is impeccable. Had this pregnancy happened even 3 months earlier than it did, I�m not sure our relationship could have weathered it. But it didn�t. It is happening now because God, the author and finisher of our faith, has timed it just perfectly.
So we wait together, with all the stress, impatience and anxiety the enemy can throw at us. But we wait together.

Bloody Elbow

2005-09-19T22:10:32Z

I fell on my elbow the other day. I fell hard enough to get torn up pretty good. I had several small cuts and a couple big ones - there were flaps of skin hanging off my arm, so we weren't sure if I needed stitches or not. The older I get, the less I can handle pain. Wait, that's not true. Let me rephrase that: The older I get, the less I can handle blood...and needles.

]]> So I sat in the ER waiting to see a doctor. I was on what they call the "Fast Track" at the hospital, so it only took a total of 3 hours. Just about the time all the blood on my arm had coagulated, they came in and started digging around in the cuts. They told me I didn't need stitches, but that they would need to cut the flaps of skin off and scrub the wound. I don't like the words "flap," "scrub," or "cut off" when it comes to open lacerations. My stomach got weak and I started having one of those cold sweats again (last time that happened I was trying to give blood at the Red Cross with my wife - she gave blood and I fainted).

They gave me lots of shots. Tetanus and numbing shots - and I think they even gave me some fake shots so the nurse-in-training could practice on a real-live person. Then they cut some skin off and started scrubbing. It didn't hurt - I was numb. But I knew that it would hurt if I wasn't numb...so I pretended that it hurt anyway. The nurse in charge asked the trainee for some Q-tips, but she couldn't seem to tell the difference between a tongue depressor and a gauze pad, so my wife Carol pointed to the Q-tips for her and she handed them to the nurse. They finished by putting a non-stick gauze pad over a half-inch smear of ointment, and wrapping it in an ace bandage. I looked really cool, and I felt even cooler all doped up on synthetic codeine. But I was glad to leave.

Today it was time to change the dressing, so I unwrapped the ace bandage and tried to look under the gauze. It was stuck. Peeling it off was like tearing duct tape off your eyelids. Non-stick my foot.

So now I'm sitting here with my arm unwrapped, letting it breathe. But I'm worried because my dog keeps sniffing my wounds. It looks like I put my arm through a meat grinder and I'm offering her a treat. She keeps rolling over and eyeing my elbow.

Relationship Between Being and Doing is Profound - by Steven Kalas

2005-06-14T20:01:53Z

"...The relationship between being and doing is profound. Each can change the other. When an evolution (or devolution) occurs in our being, then we do differently. When we practice some doing long enough (for good or ill), then our being moves to conform to the doing. Doing issues forth from being. Being is shaped by doing..."

]]> The parenting experts tell us to separate our children's behavior from their identity. "I love you," we are supposed to say, "but I don't like what you are doing." In this way -- so the theory goes -- we can correct what a child is doing without shaming his being.

I am mostly a supporter of this strategy for discipline and change, whether it is used by parents or by individuals striving to confront their own mistaken behavior. Separating ourselves from our behavior is an effective way to break through the paralyzing shame many of us feel about both who we are and what we have done. Once we have regained power over shame, we are set free to celebrate our lives and take responsibility for our actions.

Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, uses this model to frequent success. In the AA model, alcoholism is not the name of an action (something we do) nor a reference to moral identity (someone we are); alcoholism is the name of a disease. Over and over I have seen this separation of being and doing give problem drinkers a way to climb out from under their shame and despair long enough to make the necessary changes for health and wholeness.

I say "mostly a supporter" because lately I've been thinking about the limits of this model. While it may be occasionally helpful to think in terms of separating identity and behavior, finally, no such separation really exists. We fool ourselves if we say that our behavior has no relationship to our person. If a man lies to me 20 times, and on the 21st occasion of our meeting tells me he is not, in fact, a liar, I will pause. I will doubt the man. If the man has 15 convictions for theft, and tells me of many other thieveries for which he was never discovered, I will not find much comfort in being told that, while his behavior is wicked, he is really a nice guy.

My car is rear-ended at a busy intersection. The guilty driver pleads with me not to call the police because he has no insurance and he wishes to avoid the additional citation. He assures me he has a friend in an auto body shop who will fix my car, and asks how he might gain my trust. I survey my damaged car. I see a man who has willfully rejected his legal and moral responsibility to carry insurance. Can he be trusted? He cannot. My answer is informed by his decision to drive without insurance. What he has done has told me something of who he is. I call the police.

The relationship between being and doing is profound. Each can change the other. When an evolution (or devolution) occurs in our being, then we do differently. When we practice some doing long enough (for good or ill), then our being moves to conform to the doing. Doing issues forth from being. Being is shaped by doing.

Of course, our doing is rarely a complete picture of who we are. Even in the midst of our most miserable acts there remains the part of our identity that knows the act was miserable. If we know we acted badly, then we can't be entirely bad. That's really good news.

But what we do remains a serious business. Our doing, if left unchecked and unexamined, has the power to blur and even bury our identity. Our character. To take seriously the connection between being and doing is to realize that at some point it is possible to no longer be doing evil, but to have finally become evil. Gives me the creeps.

Steven Kalas is a behavioral health consultant and counselor at Clear View Counseling and Wellness Center in Las Vegas. Contact him at skalas@ reviewjournal.com.